For this week’s Movies that Matter we have a wonderful duo, Bud Smith and Brian Alan Ellis. If you haven’t heard of them, you should probably get to a fucking library.
PART ONE
MOVIES DISCUSSED: Silver Bullet, Lucas, My Cousin Vinny, Ghostbusters
BUD SMITH: My favorite movie when I was a little kid was Silver Bullet because I liked the werewolf stuff. My brother loved that movie too because he wanted to have me break both his legs so our parents would buy him an electric wheelchair.
BRIAN ALAN ELLIS: I don’t think I’ve watched Silver Bullet all the way through. I think I got it confused with that other Corey Haim movie, Lucas. Like, I thought the Lucas character got paralyzed in the football game at the end and the story picked up where he was now in a wheelchair and was suddenly being chased by werewolves.
SMITH: Lucas 2: Silver Bullet is great and does have werewolves, and then Lucas 3: Rudy is a beautiful closer because Lucas overcomes his handicap (and the werewolves) and plans for that Notre Dame one-down. I also loved My Cousin Vinny, like a lot.
ELLIS: I like the part in My Cousin Vinny when Joe Pesci shoots the busboy and everybody’s all. “Why’d you do that, you crazy motherfucker,” and Pesci is all whatever about it, so they kill him and dump his body in some cornfield. Pretty heavy. By the way, I never saw My Cousin Vinny.
SMITH: My Cousin Vinny is this movie with Marissa Tomei in it and some courtroom stuff that is moot. Marisa Tomei in that movie was why I stayed living on the east coast. My plan as a little kid had been to relocate to Jupiter. Marissa Tomei kept me here.
ELLIS: My favorite movie as a kid was Ghostbusters. My mom sewed me a Ghostbusters jumpsuit for Halloween, and I wore it to school the whole year. It was badass.
SMITH: What character?
ELLIS: I don’t think I was a particular character. Just some fat kid who decided to be a ghostbuster.
SMITH: Oh, like if they hired a fat kid and had him shoot atomic laser beam rays. To fight the undead. That’s a bad plan for them. I got the ectoplasm for Christmas and it was purple and I smeared it on all the walls of my room.
ELLIS: That shit was fire. Also, I just remembered, this other kid dressed like a ghostbuster that Halloween and I was jealous ’cause he had like an actual toy proton pack and my shit was just cardboard and tinfoil.
SMITH: The real proton pack kids are going to hell first. That’s my only Christian sentiment. Spoiled little rich real proton pack bitches.
PART TWO
MOVIES DISCUSSED: The Crow, The Wedding Singer, A Clockwork Orange, Toy Story 4, Irreversible, Requiem for a Dream
BRIAN ALAN ELLIS: Do you remember the first movie you ever took a date to?
BUD SMITH: I took a date to The Crow. She said it was pretty weird and dark but then she said that her mom and dad had their first date at A Clockwork Orange and that they were making out until the rape scene. You never know with movies. Like even Toy Story 4 could be viciously harrowing.
ELLIS: That’s like taking a date to see Irreversible, or Requiem for a Dream. Brutal. The Crow had a nice moral center, at least. I saw The Wedding Singer with my first girlfriend. She loved it. She was like a goth/riot grrl-type and was way into the ’80s. She loved Billy Idol, and Bauhaus. I listened to Rancid so the movie obviously wasn’t punk enough for me at the time, but I’ve grown to appreciate it.
SMITH: How do you feel about Rancid now, though? I dated a girl early on who loved SKA. That was a tough one.
ELLIS: I was totally into SKA. Actually, the first time I made out with a girl was at, like, a Toasters show. I think I even wore a tie. It was pretty bad.
SMITH: What was the appeal? The plaid pants? The horns? The Doc Martins?
ELLIS: I liked the energy of the music. I still listen to all that stuff. I still love all the 2-Tone-era stuff. Rude Boi!
SMITH: I like the idea of you in a tie. Sounds very respectable.
PART THREE
MOVIE DISCUSSED: Die Hard
BRIAN ALAN ELLIS: What movie have you seen more than any other movie (it could even be a movie you hated that was on TV constantly)?
BUD SMITH: Die Hard comes to mind. Probably it’s Die Hard. Like, right now I’m in an airport and kind of want it to be overrun by German terrorists so I can jump barefoot into glass.
ELLIS: That’s where all the “jumping barefoot into glass” started. Seminal film.
SMITH: “Give me the codes to the detonators, McLean!” I just yell that all the time. Everywhere.
ELLIS: And people just nod knowingly.
SMITH: Today, at the grocery store, to the cashier, “GIVE ME THE CODES TO THE DETONATORS!” except, instead of detonators, I asked if she could swipe her store card so I could save cash on my bananas.
PART FOUR
MOVIES DISCUSSED: Dude, Where’s My Car?; Cool as Ice; Raising Arizona; The Big Lebowski
ELLIS: What do you think is the most underrated movie?
SMITH: Dude, Where’s My Car? For real.
ELLIS: I saw that at the dollar theater. I can’t remember if they ever found the car.
SMITH: They didn’t. It was set up for a trilogy. Aliens showed up with giant boobs. That was a plot point. And there were these two muscle men from Germany. That was a plot point. Ashton Kutcher made sexy clay sculptures with Demi Moore late at night while the Righteous Brothers crooned. That was a plot point. Stiffler smoked weed with a badass dog that wanted blueberry pancakes and spoke English.
ELLIS: I think the Vanilla Ice movie, Cool as Ice. should get a Criterion release. It’s up there with Godard. It’s mega surreal. When Vanilla tells the girl to “drop the zero and get with this hero,” he’s really telling us, the audience, not to settle for less than what we deserve in life, even if what we deserve is a white, towheaded rapper on a neon-yellow motorcycle. Big questions.
SMITH: I also thought that Raising Arizona was underrated. No one talks about it anymore. It’s all Big Lebowski.
ELLIS: I think Raising Arizona was so underrated for so long that it eventually became overrated. I’m pretty sure that happens. Dunno. Seems legit.
PART FIVE
MOVIES DISCUSSED: The Lord of the Rings, Police Academy, Cocoon
BRIAN ALAN ELLIS: What’s your favorite movie franchise?
BUD SMITH: Lord of the Rings. I like the elf lady from the Aerosmith videos. That’s the only reason. Nah, I’m kidding. I also like the wizard magic crap. I want wizard magic even if I have to dress in shit-stinking robes and carry a big annoying stick all across faux Europe.
ELLIS: I’ve never seen Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter. I’m like a cinematic pariah. Police Academy is probably my favorite franchise. Each Police Academy movie was like a different Ramones album. You pretty much knew what you were getting and it was always satisfying.
SMITH: That’s noble. Police Academy is beautiful. I love Steve Guttenberg. Except in Cocoon because I hate old people. A whole movie about aliens and Florida and old people? I go see all the blockbusters. I see them in 3D. And I buy $70-worth of popcorn, candy and Coca Cola. To help the economy.
ELLIS: I just watch bootleg DVR movies my 56 year-old neighbor lets me borrow. Lots of Jason Statham.
SMITH: Oh wow. Like jumping in slow motion to dodge bullets. That guy can’t stomp on glass though. He’s too bald.
ELLIS: Yeah, lots of that. Nuns with guns. He lets me borrow a lot of straight-to-streaming Duck Dynasty-like shoot-em-ups where the soundtrack is like Black Keys knockoff swamp boogie.
SMITH: Love how Black Keys put millions of bass players everywhere out of work. Just guitar. Just singing. Just drums. No plaid pants. No horns. No suspenders.
ELLIS: The bass players just steal the drummers and start 2-piece stoner rock bands. It’s a tradeoff.
SMITH: No SKA. Just swamp boogie.
ELLIS: Swamp Boogie Nights. Let’s pitch that. Next time we’re in Hollywood.
SMITH: Electric Swamp Boogaloo 2: Breakin’ Glass: Barefoot. I’m bracing myself for the avalanche of cash.
This summer, catch BRIAN ALAN ELLIS and BUD SMITH starring in Tables without Chairs #1, a new book from House of Vlad Productions!
