As a heterosexual man, I would never forgive myself for doing a list of the best looking/sexiest/whatever women in indie lit. Fortunately, I have no problem doing the same thing to a bunch of dudes. So, without further ado, here are, in no particular order, the sexiest sexy beasts of indie lit (and yes, talent was taken into consideration).
- MP Johnson in drag – No women on this list, but a man in drag doesn’t count. Like them tall, slender, and blonde with toned arms? Check out this guy in a dress, high heels, and wig.
- Michael J. Seidlinger – I don’t know if coping is sexy, but Seidlinger mixes it up with a lot of hustle, some professionally tousled hair, and some cigars and you end up with a good looking guy that also happens to write fantastic books and runs one of the best presses in indie lit, Civil Coping Mechanisms.
- Adam Cesare – Is having “boyish good looks” still a thing? I don’t care, Cesare has them. He writes books full of awful things, but his smile is the kind that belongs more in a romance convention that the World Horror Convention. Plus, he looks like Serpico when he grows a beard.
- Sam Slaughter – Slaughter is everywhere and, if conversations with fellow reviewers are any indication, the world is ready for his first novel to drop. In other words, the guy is on the map thanks to his writing chops and superb editing work. However, once you’re done looking at that, you find yourself staring at a man who writes about booze, rocks a ball cap with style, and has dreamy green peepers.
- Bud Smith – Smith writes about good looking people going through messed up things. I’m pretty sure some of it is autobiographical. If you want the intellectual type that also has a sense of humor and works construction, then Smith is your dream man.
- Eddy Rathke and Isaac Kirkman – As a guy with a closet full of old, discolored jeans and black t-shirts, it’s easy to think I don’t care about fashion, and you’d be right. However, not caring about fashion doesn’t mean that I don’t recognize style when I see it. These two gentlemen have style. They wear things that pop out. I’ve never seen Issac wearing anything less than spectacular and Eddy is the only man I’ve seen wearing green pants that hasn’t made me want to call him funny names.
- Brian Alan Ellis – This guy makes nihilism look good. I interviewed him for Show Me Your Shelves, so he filled a bathtub with books and jumped in. In the words of Paris Hilton, that’s hot. Thrown in some beardage, prose that is always a mixture of sad and funny, a few gnomes, and some wrestling moves, and you end up with a sexy beast.
- Joe Clifford – Yes, Clifford is kind of old compared to the rest of the dudes on this list (I had to get him somehow, and this first line is it), but he still has it, grey hairs and all. Rumor has it that he’s really ugly without the beard, but with it, he’s got the kind of looks that get authors fan clubs full of people who don’t read.
- J. David Osborne and D. Foy – Yes, another tie. I like to cheat at things and get my way Deal with it. Let’s tackled JDO first. Take away the humor, cool attitude, and major hustle and you still have a guy who has perfected the disheveled look. Some models spend a lot of money on heroin trying to look like Osborne. You know what? He’s probably the best looking editor out there. If you needed another reason to read/support/submit to Broken River Books, now you have it. As for Foy, the man looks like a professor who’s never lost a bar brawl. From the glasses to the hair, Foy is a man’s man, and he pulls if off with elegance and lost of ink. Come on, you know that’s sexy stuff right there, and we’re not even talking about his writing chops yet.
- Wrath James White – What can I say about this man that you don’t already know? I think the words “tall, dark, and handsome” were created to describe Wrath. Plus, the man always dresses up. No idea where a guy that tall buys suits, but he makes them look good. He can also kick your ass, which I guess is kinda sexy.