Awake at Night
It’s ok when I don’t know what to do
In the middle of the nights that sting of self-realization
That was more bitter than you bit through.
The nights catch my normal everything stops and lately
I’d forgotten I was broken.
Lifted highly and revered for getting out and doing the thing
That kept me from being a mom. Being looked at by somebody
Who’s something and my life is a something.
The ins and outs, the quickie, and the sleeping-in with
The covers over my eyes, not my nostrils;
With the sheets that aren’t yours or mine.
In control and out of time quickly onto the next diversion —
I’m pretty sure I didn’t say you could see that part.
I’ll stay quiet.
Turn away. I’m absolutely in need to say that you can’t call me
Human you hardly have any evidence suggesting.
Come on laughter, you don’t get the point, we said
Those nights when I’m crying a lot and I’m
Scared of myself because I know I’m quiet a lot. Back then I
Saved all the cool words and had thought banks filled
With words like hate.