I want my words to pierce your skin
because they never left an impression on you.
I want you to see the madness within me and know
that you had some part in this.
Did you honestly think that I would be undamaged by your cruelty?
I want to blame you,
blame you for not being able to find love
for not having self-worth.
God, I want to hurt you the way you hurt me.
You never will be hurt by me.
I love you.
I hate myself because I love you.
I wish I could just let it be, but you are my brother.
The person who should have always been there.
But you wouldn’t forget the time I lied.
Wouldn’t forgive my childhood transgressions.
You made yourself into what you are and took part in my own formation.
Our relationship summed up in a picture.
You, standing above me,
me, unhappy on the ground.
You, a golf club in your hand raised high above your head,
me, nearly crying because
everything comes so easy to you and I stumble into failure.
I want to blame you. I can’t.
Kate R: Living and exploring in Missouri, USA I spend my free time writing, exploring with my friends, and playing Bocce Ball with my family. I recently had a near death experience which left me wanting more out of life and spurred me to get my work out there. This is my first publication and I look forward to many more.