What I Was Too Scared To Tell You
when they pried me open they found naught but a brain,
no inkling of the thoughts inside, no shade
of the dreams of gender death,
where i could wake up
one morning to wear a suit and tie,
& in the evening wear my beard
& a flower stained
summer dress
& still be considered
me, still be considered
beautiful,
still be considered.
how i wished
i could get over the fear of not
being pretty,
being classically
handsome,
being hot, being strong
being sexy. how i cried into the dark don’t call me names. don’t worry about how
i check my boxes: don’t dwell on my label: bi?/
trans?/gender fluid?
call me Joe.
call me bright/burnt&beaming.
call me nothing & just hold me
as i hold you.
Joe Nicholas is an experimenter and experiencer, as well as the editor of The Screaming Sheep.
