last day
for no real reason this day reminds me of being a little girl
flipping through a diary i try to find the exact date
i lost my faith
which is easy to lose, being very small
and without shape
and it has to do
with the unseen, too
so if the divine shows itself, faith dissipates
like the divine on a horse breaking through a cloud of faith
that clears, then, and you see what’s behind
like any of us at some point faith becomes unnecessary
but only after a movement between worlds
and there is a ritual, and it returns
all our rituals are strange
signs that point to nothing
if i wrote a prayer today it would make no appeal
only the sound of a bell
or it would only offer to listen
i don’t think there was a specific day it was just that i became tired
of speaking
and the last day is like that, too
not historic, it’s just any time i realize
nothing i’ve learned applies to the future
the day when my vision cleared
i miss that cloud, that mist
and it returns
some days i call it down from the ceiling
or i try to use it in love
i go around looking for fog
something to get lost in
