The Bluest Blue
“God ain’t in the silence, child. God is the silence. And there just aren’t no words for that. There’s only sensation. It’s like love or beauty. Ain’t no words for none of that neither. There’s just the stillness that comes with experiencing God or love or beauty. And God’s right there in that silence. Waiting. He’s not hiding. Ain’t no mystery about it.” Makeda stared down into her coffee like she was seeing those small miracles that only blind women ever saw. “Saying that name of God, like God just a word, destroys God. Erases Him. You just filling what you think is an emptiness with a sound. And you only doing that to comfort your own fool self, so you don’t feel so alone. It’s cause you can’t trust, Johnny.” Makeda gently rubbed the heels of her hands into her eyes, trying to wipe away all those years of looking, those years her eyes seemed to be doing things she could not control. “A man ain’t no man if he can’t trust silence. He just ain’t.” She shook her head. “Words. They nothing but the drug of an impatient man.”
Doug Rice is the author of Between Appear and Disappear, Dream Memoirs of a Fabulist and other books of fiction, memoir and photographs.