1.2.43 (2004-08-26 10:36)
very very tired. first time i had to wake up by an alarm in ages. i forgot how a lot of the rest of you live. 7:30 am. heinous. i had to go to a private school where i’ll be subbing to do paperwork. it was in lincoln park. somehow i got lost in the bus scramble, being so very mindless, and ended up way way north, past irving park. i was too exhausted to even mind.
i did discover some weird hood with lots of ethiopian eateries—i love ethiopian food—and now want to go back… anyone up for it?
had a lovely dinner last night with [ LJ User: fascistprincess ] and [ LJ User: goblinchild ]. they were kind enough to take me out to Mod and we had quite a feast and excellent conversation. brilliant, dashing, vibrant, sweet people. you can talk books, fashion, exercise, any life stuff, anything at all, it seems with them.
i did learn a few things about my neighborhood and apt last night that i’d suspected for a while. see, king has had these weird hallucinations here for months where i swear he’s seeing things and freaking out… and just a few days ago i had this weird haunted feeling about the apt… well, i learned just weeks before i moved in, the previous tenant—whose furniture incidentally is still in this apt—had died of a heroin overdose. i spoke to some nice old man while walking my dog today who also confirmed this, but said everyone considered it a suicide. anyway, someone had died in here very recently and you really can feel it. i’ve had two different house guests who’ve commented on the weird feeling they get from the place. i knew there was something off in the energy of this apt.
also, i was validated in knowing i am not some silly fragile girl for wanting to be extra safe around here—like being walked late at night or being hesistant to trek all dressed up by myself, etc—apparently just recently there had been a rape on the corner and several other assaults, etc. when a cop told me that my neighborhood was dangerous a few months ago, friends of mine laughed it off, but people who’ve lived here for a while have been telling me… i’ve had a history of probs with night predators so i of course worry. having a greyhound as a dog is also like having fucking Snoopy (or more fittingly Santa’s Little Helper) on a leash—nobody is threatened. esp when your dog wants to love on every degenerate. King seriously has a thing for homeless crackheads.
1.2.45 (2004-08-28 12:49)
fashion show last night. surprisingly some of the fashions were very good. up til 4 am. king held us hostage keeping his usual weather alert vigil—king: there is a thunderstorm outside and it is a canine’s duty to make sure humans don’t abandon me in such a terrible occasion.
yesterday at filter two construction workers in their 50s were sitting near me and talking about their college-aged children and how 20somethings are all ”lost souls” these days. ”they have the luxury to be lost souls.”
planning relentlessly. hope is a beautiful blinding sad fragile thing.
1.2.47 (2004-08-30 19:17)
a light:
oct 1 or nov 1: los angeles.
the whys:
hate my job—today’s heinous battle with an editor cemented it
poor as shit
my apt & ’hood isn’t good enough to keep me happy inside it all day
met enough psychos and bad people in this city that i became disgusted of friend-making here—so thank you—but just wondering do some of you think by being ugly assholes you are rebeling against some heartland wholesome thing? i wonder
pros:
no rent for a while
back to sunshine
editing the old novel in peace
writing a new novel
good food
old friends
the current arts rennaissance going down there (believe it)
it’s my fucking hometown
cons:
getting the dog there (called a pet transport co & they said it will be $500-800. so basically i need my security deposit back.)
getting my landlord to agree to this & dealing with her a lot in the next few weeks
leaving some of the wonderful people i have uncovered here
living with the ’rents for a bit—first time since 18, 1996.
getting a car
getting out all over again
subject to change, of course, but today more than ever it all became very clear.
