Yep, this happened. People did this.
SHELDON LEE COMPTON: You own a small town. It happens sometimes. Three guys once bought the town of Wheelwright, Kentucky, a coal camp sold by the company back in the 1970s. What do you do during the first month of ownership?
STEVEN DUNN: Oh man, I come from a town of 400 people. So if this town I owned was about that size, I would seriously sit at the corner store and try to meet all the people I could. Then I’d see who’d be interested in helping with a town play (acting, writing, or whatever). We’d work and work on this play (maybe a myth about the town), and perform it. My thought is: we’ve all worked on something together, now we can move forward!
COMPTON: Matt Damon does a Bourne move and coverts his way into your house to hold you hostage to write the opening scene of his Good Will Hunting sequel. Let’s have that first scene.
DUNN: Opening scene to Good Will Hunting 2:
Matt Damon stars as himself as a washed up actor who and wants to write a sequel to Good Will Hunting. Everyone important has turned him and his proposal down. Down on his luck, he holds Steven Dunn (a young black writer) hostage to write the opening scene of Good Will Hunting 2.
Matt Damon tells Steven Dunn, “Make it cool, add some jazz or hip-hop, you know, kinda like Super Bad, that had a really groovy soundtrack.”
SD: “I know, Super Bad had a soundtrack from black artists from the 70s, but there were no black people in the movie, so it just made all of these white dudes look cool and edgy. Like there were no black people in the first Good Will Hunting.”
MD: “It was filmed in Boston for Christ’s sake.”
SD: “If it was really for Christ’s sake, you would’ve had black people in the film because Christ had an afro.”
MD: “That’s not the point, Steven.” [pointing gun at Steven]
SD: “Fuck you, Matt Damon. I know how you feel about diversity.”
Back in real-life, critics hail Matt Damon for hiring a black writer and starring a black writer. And Kevin Hart wins an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his role as the therapist in Good Will Hunting 2. And Michael B. Jordan wins Best Actor for his role as Will Hunting.
COMPTON: You can only listen to one more album and then that’s it, no more music. What album do you pick and why?
DUNN: Gorillaz “Demon Days” because it’s like three different albums in one. And the ending of that album, whoo! The last three songs: Fire Coming Out the Monkey’s Head, Don’t Get Lost in Heaven, and Demon Days, feels like one story and puts me in a weird trance. It’s my favorite album ending ever.
COMPTON: It’s retirement time for Samuel L. Jackson but he is absolutely not ready to go. Studio execs have asked you to break the news to him and convince him to go peacefully. What do you tell him? If you want to answer this in a slick Elmore Leonard dialogue exchange, feel free to do so.
DUNN: (I have never read Elmore Leonard. But I hear good things.). And as much as I love the word motherfucker, I can’t put it in this exchange. But considering that Samuel L. Jackson also loves the word motherfucker, I would tell him that I am personally revitalizing the Blaxpoitation film industry, and I want him to be the CEO of the company, and write, direct, and star in the first tow films: Bad Motherfucker, and Bad Motherfucker Too (which is about Bad Motherfucker’s son).
COMPTON: You’re an investigative journalist hoping to embed yourself as a tour guide at the Creation Museum for a Vice article. You have to convince the board of directors you’re a teetotal believer before you get the gig. How do you sell it?
DUNN: I used to go to church a lot as a child, so I’m familiar with that set of beliefs. And if I laid them out here in response to this question, it’ll seem like I’m making fun or being nasty. And I don’t wanna do that. But, on a similar note I’m actually interested in going to that life-size Noah’s Ark, in Kentucky I think. I’m not Christian, but that thing looks really cool. I’m amazed by it, the effort and the translated image.
